In a world where you are expected to be a certain thing at a certain age and totally fall short in all aspects, all that is available is the belief that death has to be easier.
It might sound like one is giving up; but in essence it’s grasping the reality. What do you have when all hope runs short, what is there to smile about when all your efforts are trampled either by chance or by circumstance?
A glimmer that all is not lost, a glimpse into a bright horizon, if only it didn’t all feel like sailing solo in the pacific, if only there is meaning to all this, if only I can be as proud of myself as my child is of me.
Yet again, it goes without saying that am not just self-pitying, am doing the best I can, to provide, to protect, to mold and to grow myself. Only thing is, it’s all so worthless, why be concerned about the ways of the world, why fall into the statistics of the mediocre….but it’s such things that we are accustomed to, we grow and leave high school but we never really leave the ways of high school. It’s all about whom is the best dressed and who’s having sex. Who’s who and who’s what.
In the meantime, before I self-distract maybe I can find solace in death, maybe just maybe I’ll be a better version of myself in the next life and if light does finally show at the end of the tunnel, may be just maybe this article will never see the light of day and will just be a distance memory of when I contemplated giving up, one thing is for sure, THAT DAY IS NOT TODAY!!
Avril Lavigne – Who knows