THE FINAL BOW

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I could write about our dead soldiers
but their pain is gone
I could go on and on about how they will be missed but they won’t hear me
I write for those left behind.

The young mother left with nothing but a cold side of the bed
The family that lost the “pride of the family”
The friends that lost their selfless comrade
What of their pain? When will it end?

I could parade twitter with #istandwithkdf tweets but do we really?
As a nation we feel the pain but it’s nothing compared to the families loss
I write for the pain of growing up fatherless, living with the loss of a child ,living with the memories of a dear friend.

They dedicated their lives to total strangers. Chose to fight and protect our freedom and our land.
For that they lost the ability to watch over their loved ones
For that they forgo watching their infants grow
I weep for our departed and weep even more for those they left behind.

One for all and all for one they say… May their legacies live on and those left behind know we are forever indebted. They say time heals ….well time will tell… My sincere condolences and outmost respect to all affected and afflicted

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2016 …STILL ON TRACK

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No one is evil. No one looks in the mirror and sees the bad. That’s what I presume. In my efforts to put my ducks in a row with regards to my plans for 2016, I have more than once found myself staring at the mirror, wondering if I know the image staring back.
This over zealous lady is almost unknown to me. I am not ungrateful. I appreciate the mileage I have gained over the years, but what I see here is just different from the person on my vision board.

Its funny how one day you are picturing your picket fence and manicured lawns, and before you know it, you are staring at it years later; but with a hot up of coffee and unimaginable eye bags. A tired sarcastic person mocking their previous selves.
You didn’t really think that’s all it took to be happy now did you?

Now experience is indeed the best teacher. As I rub down after a long hot shower the image in the mirror is slowly looking familiar. She now knows better. In our attempts to please, we end up miserable. In our efforts of gaining back happiness others get miserable. It is a balancing act that we often find ourselves playing out.

If by chance your happiness and that of the people you love are aligned, then make merry and count yourself blessed that someone is part of your story. If the image looking back smiles effortlessly and is at peace keep pleasing him/her.

My ducks are showing great improvement and tremendous positive change so far. I now understand the power of self appreciation and self recognition. No one is evil no one is unfixable and definitely no one is without the ability to live out the best version of themselves.

Step one SMILE

Step two REMEMBER WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE

Step three REFER TO STEP ONE…

A day at a time

MY MUKIRI

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God gave me you for the ups and downs

I carry you in my heart
Carry you every where
With every stride and every challenge
Your presence encourages me

I’m glad you chose me
Glad you came to me
Through you I have learnt to love
And love with every fibre of me

Now I can’t imagine a universe we don’t meet
A time I’m not yours and you’re not mine
Cursed be the day we depart from each other
Blessed be the eternity we spend

Mama loves you, adores you and would give up everything to see you smile and live free for all of time.

LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST

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We may never recover what is lost. Never un-ring a bell. Often times tears are the only way of cleaning the stains away. Cry,scream, let it all out then wipe your tears, pick up what’s left of you and live to fight another day.

Packing up the shit isn’t easy either. Every now and then when the music comes on, the mind wanders. When we least expect it the phone rings ….a call that should go unanswered but the body is weak. Though we fight to soldier on ,we bend along the way. It is not a one time decision but a decision to choose every time temptation calls, every day till it becomes what we know.

Choose to choose yourself. Accept your past and leave it behind. It should not define your present nor determine your future. Choose to believe there is more to life than cleaning up tainted slates and worn out smiles.

Finally, when the phone rings, when the door bell rings or a shoulder tap happens… Don’t be afraid to answer because by choosing yourself you have all the control.

Before you know it , all will be distant memories to be recalled when a sad scene comes on in a movie. A moment in time not what is….

2016 AT A GLANCE

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I don’t do well with resolutions or the whole “new year new me” stuff. That’s not to say nothing needs to change. A lot does, if I can flick a switch no doubt I’d do a 180° turn. A complete overhaul, a total do over. Of course with a few things intact like the friends that stuck by me, family that remained true and lessons learnt so I don’t need the do over button again.

This year I channel all energy towards self growth and a solid foundation for my young family. In attempts to please many we lose sight of what matters. Career advancement is welcomed,but at what cost? The lavish lifestyle, the myriad likes on social media and the comfort of security don’t measure up to much if you have no one to share with.

So this year, all focus on those that matter. If that counts as a resolution then may it be one that redefines my take on them.

Happy new year to you all. May you realise your resolutions !!!!