Everyday I choose you and pray you choose me
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s however you and I always
I choose you, through smiles and tears and hope you choose me……
“Even at your highest seek Him”
Almost done with this calendar, going in I had resolutions and strategies. Honestly most didn’t make it to the second week.I got an early lesson in keeping the faith, living a day at a time and focusing on happiness- seems too simplistic now, but then it was a daunting task.
Accepting your position does not necessarily mean dwelling on it or claiming it. It simply means you are not blind to your predicaments (if any) or happiness (if so, keep it up) . In my case it was the previous. Taking charge of my situation worked for me, looking back it is almost like a fantasy novel.
The damsel in distress, went and saved herself. The unhappy, burdened mother learnt to accept help where necessary and enjoy motherhood. The girlfriend that felt unappreciated took a closer look into the mirror and identified the log. The struggling student, well still struggles because postgraduate ain’t no joke! But now with a working support system…😃😃
This year has by far been one for the record books for me. I’m now aware of who I am, who I want to be and above all who I believe in. Truly He is Lord of Lords. As we Celebrate Christmas let Christ be born in your heart. Remember it’s about the birth of Christ not Santa sliding down the chimney…..
It’s easy to get swamped with life and its intricacies once you take the leap to share your life with someone. More often than not I find myself staring at the mirror wondering if I recognize the person staring back. Other times I cannot get over how I have changed, from the individual who thought on linear basis , ” What are the repercussions to me?” (Most times I did it anyway) to someone who considers her partner, my life isn’t mine to gamble with, decisions not only impact me but my partner too.
Some decisions I hate but it’s what’s right for the ‘team’, and in all sincerity the ‘team’ should come first. Some I cannot make alone because I could be none the wiser and others are so obvious its amazing!
It is easy to disregard consciously or unconsciously what your every day routine reflects on your spouse. You can tell a lot about a person by what they choose to do in the absence of their spouse. Sure, walk around naked ever so often, sing off tune in the shower , dance with the girls or ride with the boys….keep doing you to bring out the best in both of you. Let it not be for show that you hold hands, laugh heartly or talk to each other kindly. Let it be who you people are on and off the camera.
Your life does not seize being yours just because you choose to say ‘Yes/ I do’ it does however reflect on your better half. Relationships can be happy and marriage beautiful just choose to be…..
It never occurred to me that a time would come when my heart would literally be yanked out of my body . Leaving hurt I can’t wish on my worst enemy. The love of a child is something one can explain only through experience.
Trying to lengthen that leash and widening the child’s circle is not an easy task. Everyday I woke up to her face, every night I fell asleep with her tucked tight next to me.
Tonight she is miles away with her grandparents.She is in excellent care but I keep tossing and turning and wondering how can she be so OK when separation anxiety is driving me crazy. How can I be this ball of emotion when it’s evident how greatly I appreciate my own grandparents and time spent with them.
We would love to always be with them but it is important for children to learn and know their heritage , know where they come from and learn to cope with different surroundings. It’s vital that they experience a diverse view of the world . It will not be easy letting go but ,”No man is an island.”
Tonight I toss and turn , tomorrow when we talk on the phone she will have a story for me. Story of how different things are where she is, what excited her , what she didn’t like , what she didn’t understand and I will rest easier knowing she is OK and at least grasping something different from her norm.
It takes a village to raise a child, no matter where we are in life ,the fundamental/core values will always be traced back to where we come from and who better to help instill those values than the ones who instilled them in us?
I carry you in my heart
Carry you every where
With every stride and every challenge
Your presence encourages me
I’m glad you chose me
Glad you came to me
Through you I have learnt to love
And love with every fibre of me
Now I can’t imagine a universe we don’t meet
A time I’m not yours and you’re not mine
Cursed be the day we depart from each other
Blessed be the eternity we spend
Mama loves you, adores you and would give up everything to see you smile and live free for all of time.
I don’t do well with resolutions or the whole “new year new me” stuff. That’s not to say nothing needs to change. A lot does, if I can flick a switch no doubt I’d do a 180° turn. A complete overhaul, a total do over. Of course with a few things intact like the friends that stuck by me, family that remained true and lessons learnt so I don’t need the do over button again.
This year I channel all energy towards self growth and a solid foundation for my young family. In attempts to please many we lose sight of what matters. Career advancement is welcomed,but at what cost? The lavish lifestyle, the myriad likes on social media and the comfort of security don’t measure up to much if you have no one to share with.
So this year, all focus on those that matter. If that counts as a resolution then may it be one that redefines my take on them.
Happy new year to you all. May you realise your resolutions !!!!
Natalie. Writer. Photographer. Etc.
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