What is the point of holding on to all that bitterness and anger, what does it gain you to lose yourself and all the peace you could be enjoying by holding on to toxic emotions?
It’s not enough to say you want to see change, it’s not enough to cling to a fantasy and hope someday you will live to actualize it. You owe yourself more than hope with no actions, dreams with no plans, and definitely, you deserve to live to see yourself fulfill your highest potential.
So gear up, fold your sleeves and get on with your goals. Climb that mountain, make those friends, shed that weight, get that degree, get that job, it does not matter what sets your soul on fire, get up and get going.
Enough with the self-doubt and the never-ending self-questions. Dare to let it all go and find that which sets your soul a flame. There is a lot to uncover on the other side of doubt and fear of the known.
One foot in infront of the other, the steeper the better the view from the top.
Dream, plan, execute.
Do and live to tell the tale of how you conquered!
“Do not go gentle into that good night”- Dylan Thomas One of my favorite poems, one of my most enlightening poems.
A few thoughts on it:
Often times we see change coming, from a distance, that deep wrenching gut feeling, that dire need for change, often times we ignore it.
Maybe the need is needed but is it necessary, maybe it is inevitable but is it welcomed? Depends, sometimes it is for the better, if not well, lesson learned.
When it is that gut-wrenching feeling to strive for change then, by all means, fight the fear and forge forward. In the least bit, you know what the route taken holds why not try a different direction.
Do not settle for mediocre, unhappy, unsatisfactory, unfulfilled, there is a whole other world on the other side of change. Flowers that blossom, butterflies flapping, that rose that bestows petals with less stingy thorns.
Fight death, in whatever form it manifests itself in your existence. Fight for you.
“Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.”
Choose you over and over and be unapologetic about it, when the time comes that it’s unavoidable to hang the towel, you will be content you faced and lived this life on your own terms and conditions. Content to forever have your memories with you, in the end, that is all we have … if we are lucky.
The silence woke her, it was never this quiet, where did it all go? Suddenly her surrounding is silent but the voices in her head too loud.
The many faces, the many voices, the endless places and adventures all gone. All she has now is silence and it drives her insane.
Startled, she rose from her mid day gaze at the television, something she once loved, how is it that the silence is so loud that she can’t even hear her favorite show….
Staring into nothingness wondering at what point she lost herself in this manner. Was it the time she prioritized her child (put her before herself)?, No can’t be it, what mother would ever admit to loosing herself to her child. It’s what parenting is ….right? Their happiness and comfort before your own. That cannot be it….can it?
Maybe it’s when she packed her entire life, which surprisingly fit two suitcases and crossed rivers, crossed county boundaries , passed wildlife along the way all in efforts to be with her one true love, what else matters when you are to be with your “ever after”?, isn’t that the essence of life? (How is it that in this nothingness not even that picture seems worthwhile). Then again, that cannot be the point she lost herself, that was the point of clarity, where all the past was just that, the past, she was with whom she was meant to be with, the point she found herself for sure, or maybe she lost herself to a picture perfect forever, a picture.
It’s possible she lost herself trying to fit in, in these foreign waters. Foreign place with foreign practices and a clear urge to not stand out.
Maybe she wasn’t meant to fit in but stand out. This is her place now, she had to fit in, while struggling to, a lot went silent, her friends slowly became distant whispers , family became a place she showed how well she was , her will for adventure became the wishes of a child, the house that was meant to be a home became her prison.
Everything is quiet everything except the prisoner in her mind. It is not clear at what point everything went silent, one this is clear though, the silence is too loud and it has woken her. Maybe tomorrow the voices will quiet down and she will regain herself.
Maybe tomorrow she will remember how it was, what it felt like to be alive, when words flowed freely, when writing wasn’t an escape rather an experience with every article, when a drink was to pass time with friends and not pass time so she isn’t too into her mind. Her mind is a dark place, a place she cannot bare be in alone, maybe tomorrow she will find the will to pick herself up from the trenches of her mind, put on a floral dress, red lipstick and comfy flip-flops, and just walk out the door.
The world is receptive, lock yourself in and it will all pass you by, open the door, smell the dust, take in the noise from all the buzz of activities around, the first step is getting ready, somewhere along the way , she will know where to go and how to get there. Well, finding a new spot to sit and stare at the laptop wondering how to write might just be her new beginning and free wifi never hurt anyone…..
Waiter: What will you be having?
Her: whiskey, neat.
And so it begins…
Don’t be fooled my dear, no two stories will be absolutely alike. Your journey may be similar to someone else’s but never will they be completely the same.
Let no one take your joy or your triumph on the basis of what they have achieved or accomplished. Their experiences are theirs you can learn from them or choose to emulate them either way don’t look down on yourself for the far you have come.
Material possessions aren’t the only measure of success, neither is family, success is what you as an individual strive to achieve. Could be quitting addiction, changing careers, starting a family, getting out of an abusive relationship etc. Whatever you deem success to be to you…..keep your eyes on the prize!!
No matter what, your best competitor is whom you were yesterday, strive to be better.
Can’t take for granted the pressure that comes with being integrated into your spouse’s life. Trying to figure out what position you hold in the pack can be quite intriguing.
Every now and then the “boys” want to have a couples evening and most times the ladies aren’t as acquainted with each other as the boys. The boys are the reason WAGS come together.
Recently I found myself at a loss. Sitted at a corner with just my bottle of wine..coz…who needs a glass? Staring into oblivion of my own making wondering who the hell I am in this equation.
From my own research (read reality shows). Every dynamic has some of this….
There’s always that one that is the loudest and makes you wanna take double shots just to mute her in your head. She is funny no doubt but in very tiny doses.
The light weight who taps out first and is off to cause mayhem hopefully with her significant other coz again who has time?
The miss goodie two shoes who has all the answers to everything marriage , parenthood, career choices and recipes but doesn’t seem to have a grip in her own affairs. Don’t get wrong I totally believe in ‘Do as I say not as I do ‘ but sometimes let’s just say ‘Do as I do not as I say’….or just let us watch what all those self help books have come handy….(not)
So for now as I gather my thoughts I think am okay being the one that hoards the wine or whatever other position they may have conjured in their mind. Oh dear Lord hope am not the boring one, seeing as I’m the one sitted in a corner having a conversation with my wine….then again I’m overly hilarious in my head, no way am the boring one.
One thing for sure, it is never a dull moment when the boys decide to let all of us come together. I am forced to believe this is in attempt to make us believe this is what they do even in our absence…..why are this setups so predictable anyway?….where is the tiger? Why aren’t we stealing a cop car? Where is the crazy ex who somehow shows up from nowhere?
Well, lemme take another chill pill…better yet where’s the wine I seem to be running low….