Can’t take for granted the pressure that comes with being integrated into your spouse’s life. Trying to figure out what position you hold in the pack can be quite intriguing.
Every now and then the “boys” want to have a couples evening and most times the ladies aren’t as acquainted with each other as the boys. The boys are the reason WAGS come together.
Recently I found myself at a loss. Sitted at a corner with just my bottle of wine..coz…who needs a glass? Staring into oblivion of my own making wondering who the hell I am in this equation.
From my own research (read reality shows). Every dynamic has some of this….
There’s always that one that is the loudest and makes you wanna take double shots just to mute her in your head. She is funny no doubt but in very tiny doses.
The light weight who taps out first and is off to cause mayhem hopefully with her significant other coz again who has time?
The miss goodie two shoes who has all the answers to everything marriage , parenthood, career choices and recipes but doesn’t seem to have a grip in her own affairs. Don’t get wrong I totally believe in ‘Do as I say not as I do ‘ but sometimes let’s just say ‘Do as I do not as I say’….or just let us watch what all those self help books have come handy….(not)
So for now as I gather my thoughts I think am okay being the one that hoards the wine or whatever other position they may have conjured in their mind. Oh dear Lord hope am not the boring one, seeing as I’m the one sitted in a corner having a conversation with my wine….then again I’m overly hilarious in my head, no way am the boring one.
One thing for sure, it is never a dull moment when the boys decide to let all of us come together. I am forced to believe this is in attempt to make us believe this is what they do even in our absence…..why are this setups so predictable anyway?….where is the tiger? Why aren’t we stealing a cop car? Where is the crazy ex who somehow shows up from nowhere?
Well, lemme take another chill pill…better yet where’s the wine I seem to be running low….
“Even at your highest seek Him”
Almost done with this calendar, going in I had resolutions and strategies. Honestly most didn’t make it to the second week.I got an early lesson in keeping the faith, living a day at a time and focusing on happiness- seems too simplistic now, but then it was a daunting task.
Accepting your position does not necessarily mean dwelling on it or claiming it. It simply means you are not blind to your predicaments (if any) or happiness (if so, keep it up) . In my case it was the previous. Taking charge of my situation worked for me, looking back it is almost like a fantasy novel.
The damsel in distress, went and saved herself. The unhappy, burdened mother learnt to accept help where necessary and enjoy motherhood. The girlfriend that felt unappreciated took a closer look into the mirror and identified the log. The struggling student, well still struggles because postgraduate ain’t no joke! But now with a working support system…😃😃
This year has by far been one for the record books for me. I’m now aware of who I am, who I want to be and above all who I believe in. Truly He is Lord of Lords. As we Celebrate Christmas let Christ be born in your heart. Remember it’s about the birth of Christ not Santa sliding down the chimney…..
It never occurred to me that a time would come when my heart would literally be yanked out of my body . Leaving hurt I can’t wish on my worst enemy. The love of a child is something one can explain only through experience.
Trying to lengthen that leash and widening the child’s circle is not an easy task. Everyday I woke up to her face, every night I fell asleep with her tucked tight next to me.
Tonight she is miles away with her grandparents.She is in excellent care but I keep tossing and turning and wondering how can she be so OK when separation anxiety is driving me crazy. How can I be this ball of emotion when it’s evident how greatly I appreciate my own grandparents and time spent with them.
We would love to always be with them but it is important for children to learn and know their heritage , know where they come from and learn to cope with different surroundings. It’s vital that they experience a diverse view of the world . It will not be easy letting go but ,”No man is an island.”
Tonight I toss and turn , tomorrow when we talk on the phone she will have a story for me. Story of how different things are where she is, what excited her , what she didn’t like , what she didn’t understand and I will rest easier knowing she is OK and at least grasping something different from her norm.
It takes a village to raise a child, no matter where we are in life ,the fundamental/core values will always be traced back to where we come from and who better to help instill those values than the ones who instilled them in us?
For a moment there she was his and he was hers. Unquestionable truth, it was known. They were the best version they could be, effortlessly happy, tried and tested and with each passing adventure the isle drew closer.
They picked their colors and dreamt of their day before man and God professing their truth. They chose the napkins and decided on the shades and shapes …..blissful.
Then the devil came in. Happiness became like chasing the wind. The dream a distant glare. She tried to hold on, as much as the strength within allowed her, he fought for the days past and the hope of an effortless tomorrow. All to no avail.
They had become so comfortable in their universe and gave no regard to the evil lingering, plotting, strategizing and eventually striking. They loved so hard that went it cracked, it instantly broke. They dreamt and forgot to shield their love.
Don’t hide behind ‘societal expectations’, behind career, family and other responsibilities. Don’t be confined. Free yourself, find yourself and explore the different things that make you you. In a universe so wide , a galaxy we can’t comprehend its bounds, a planet overly populated….find that which makes you relevant. That which makes you unique. Don’t hide behind the known. Dare to venture and explore the unknown. Who knows you just might bump into yourself…..
Loving your company is one thing. Doing away with the rest of the universes is another thing. There are those individuals that come and go , those that cross our path and with every possible outcome losing them is not an option….but as luck would have it, whether by fate or design they end up being distant memories. Doesn’t matter how many people come and go. How many stay just to leave a little ways down the road, choosing to be an island is no way to live.
With every exit comes pain and eventually bliss. May sound naive and ‘self assuaring’ maybe it is truth is ,pain is not perpetual neither is feeling lost. People leave and in the same breath come.
Learning to accept that could deem to be a daunting task but also very comforting. Who knows the next encounter might be the one generations to come make reference to when talking about ‘great encounters’.