Can’t take for granted the pressure that comes with being integrated into your spouse’s life. Trying to figure out what position you hold in the pack can be quite intriguing.
Every now and then the “boys” want to have a couples evening and most times the ladies aren’t as acquainted with each other as the boys. The boys are the reason WAGS come together.
Recently I found myself at a loss. Sitted at a corner with just my bottle of wine..coz…who needs a glass? Staring into oblivion of my own making wondering who the hell I am in this equation.
From my own research (read reality shows). Every dynamic has some of this….
There’s always that one that is the loudest and makes you wanna take double shots just to mute her in your head. She is funny no doubt but in very tiny doses.
The light weight who taps out first and is off to cause mayhem hopefully with her significant other coz again who has time?
The miss goodie two shoes who has all the answers to everything marriage , parenthood, career choices and recipes but doesn’t seem to have a grip in her own affairs. Don’t get wrong I totally believe in ‘Do as I say not as I do ‘ but sometimes let’s just say ‘Do as I do not as I say’….or just let us watch what all those self help books have come handy….(not)
So for now as I gather my thoughts I think am okay being the one that hoards the wine or whatever other position they may have conjured in their mind. Oh dear Lord hope am not the boring one, seeing as I’m the one sitted in a corner having a conversation with my wine….then again I’m overly hilarious in my head, no way am the boring one.
One thing for sure, it is never a dull moment when the boys decide to let all of us come together. I am forced to believe this is in attempt to make us believe this is what they do even in our absence…..why are this setups so predictable anyway?….where is the tiger? Why aren’t we stealing a cop car? Where is the crazy ex who somehow shows up from nowhere?
Well, lemme take another chill pill…better yet where’s the wine I seem to be running low….
The dictionary defines “Ours” as A form of the possessive case of WE.
With this in mind it is not unusual to assume that “our money” simply means joint custody or joint ownership. Everything that pertains to “Our money” should clearly fall under full disclosure ( I figure as much). Like a child ,said money needs nurturing, tendering and when let out to play the owners must be careful what kind of friends it makes lest it gets submerged in bad company or worse lost for good. It takes all parties to ensure that the do’s and don’ts as pertains to the money are adhered to. As enticing as it is to show off the money in terms of designer clothes, posh cars, cool gadgets,happening hang out places, someone has to remember to leave some for the family home,children’s education and general necessities that sustain human life. Duh!
It is often misconstrued that “Our money “is a string to pull every time one party needs the other to tow the line, amour every time there is a conflict , argument or discourse. The one bullet in the barrel that one is sure will cripple and maim. Now, all the goodies about “Our money” have been turned to a bull’s eye. One where the aim is predetermined and the cause and effect earth shuttering.
One second plans of grandeur are not so absurd the next second visuals of withering and dying from hunger and homelessness are eminent. It sounds almost ridiculous but most couples reality. The bread winner goes out and wins the hell out of the breads, in efforts to “ grow my family”, only within the confines of their walls it becomes gateway to “My way or the high way”.
It is said that even the loyal, hardworking donkey tires at some time. The bullet in the barrel could as easily become another case of “shooting yourself in the foot”. Money comes and money goes, once one realizes no one individual owns all the money in the world, disarming the armed becomes a possibility.
“Our money” remains ours even when we are using separate pillows, it does not become a hangman noose . It’s ours or it was never ours to begin with.
For a moment there she was his and he was hers. Unquestionable truth, it was known. They were the best version they could be, effortlessly happy, tried and tested and with each passing adventure the isle drew closer.
They picked their colors and dreamt of their day before man and God professing their truth. They chose the napkins and decided on the shades and shapes …..blissful.
Then the devil came in. Happiness became like chasing the wind. The dream a distant glare. She tried to hold on, as much as the strength within allowed her, he fought for the days past and the hope of an effortless tomorrow. All to no avail.
They had become so comfortable in their universe and gave no regard to the evil lingering, plotting, strategizing and eventually striking. They loved so hard that went it cracked, it instantly broke. They dreamt and forgot to shield their love.
We all meet ‘the one’ but often discredit him/her on bases that have been set by society, family or own expectations, but when your ideologies and those of your significant other align regardless of family, society or expectations, then take the risk and prove them wrong. Get off your wagon and take the risk to see what lies beyond your comfort zone. The need to build an empire and a future is ever so real but it makes the journey worthwhile if you have someone that shares your vision or better yet encourages and supports even your most outrageous dreams.
It’s not everyday that someone gives you their shoulder to lean on or a hand on a rough road. So appreciate the one that has been there for genuine reasons and utter respect for your ambition and wild ways . Show that you are far beyond set expectations and goals by your so called inner circle.
Follow your dreams and bring your support along. Together get to Enjoy the fruit of your labor and as you toast to your favourite drink, everything else will be in the rearview mirror… Smiling all the way to a life well lived.