Tag Archives: family

NOW Vs THEN

It’s easy to get swamped with life and its intricacies once  you take the leap to share your life with someone. More often than not I find myself staring at the mirror wondering if I recognize the person staring back. Other times I cannot get over how I have changed, from the individual who thought on linear basis , ” What are the repercussions to me?” (Most times I did it anyway) to someone who considers her partner, my life isn’t mine to gamble with, decisions not only impact me but my partner too. 

Some decisions I hate but it’s what’s right for the ‘team’, and in all sincerity the ‘team’ should come first.  Some I cannot make alone because I could be none the wiser and others are so obvious its amazing! 

It is easy to disregard consciously or unconsciously what your every day routine reflects on your spouse. You can tell a lot about a person by what they choose to do in the absence of their spouse. Sure, walk around naked ever so often, sing off tune in the shower , dance with the girls or ride with the boys….keep doing you to bring out the best in both of you. Let it not be for show that you hold hands, laugh heartly or talk to each other kindly. Let it be who you people are on and off the camera.

Your life does not seize being yours just because you choose to say ‘Yes/ I do’ it does however reflect on your better half. Relationships can be happy and marriage beautiful just choose to be…..

​OUR MONEY FACADE

The dictionary defines “Ours” as A form of the possessive case of WE.
With this in mind it is not unusual to assume that “our money” simply means joint custody or joint ownership. Everything that pertains to “Our money” should clearly fall under full disclosure ( I figure as much). Like a child ,said money needs nurturing, tendering and when let out to play the owners must be careful what kind of friends it makes lest it gets submerged in bad company or worse lost for good. It takes all parties to ensure that the do’s and don’ts as pertains to the money are adhered to. As enticing as it is to show off the money in terms of designer clothes, posh cars,  cool gadgets,happening hang out places, someone has to remember to leave some for the family home,children’s education and general necessities that sustain human life. Duh!

It is often misconstrued that “Our money “is a string to pull every time one party needs the other to tow the line,  amour every time there is a conflict , argument or discourse. The one bullet in the barrel that one is sure will cripple and maim. Now, all the goodies about “Our money” have been turned to a bull’s eye. One where the aim is predetermined and the cause and effect earth shuttering. 

One second plans of grandeur are not so absurd the next second visuals of withering and dying from hunger and homelessness are eminent. It sounds almost ridiculous but most couples reality. The bread winner goes out and wins the hell out of the breads, in efforts to “ grow my family”, only within the confines of their  walls it becomes gateway to “My way or the high way”. 

It  is said that even the loyal, hardworking donkey tires at some time. The bullet in the barrel could as easily become another case of “shooting yourself in the foot”. Money comes and money goes, once one realizes no one individual owns all the money in the world, disarming the armed becomes a possibility.

“Our money” remains ours even when we are using separate pillows, it does not become a hangman noose .  It’s ours or it was never ours to begin with.

 

I’M ALL CHOCKED UP AND YOU’RE OK

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Missing you comes in waves tonight am drowning

It never occurred to me that a time would come when my heart would literally be yanked out of my body . Leaving hurt I can’t wish on my worst enemy. The love of a child is something one can explain only through experience.

Trying to lengthen that leash and widening the child’s circle is not an easy task. Everyday I woke up to her face, every night I fell asleep with her tucked tight next to me.

Tonight she is miles away with her grandparents.She is in excellent care but I keep tossing and turning and wondering how can she be so OK when separation anxiety is driving me crazy. How can I be this ball of emotion when it’s evident how greatly I appreciate my own grandparents and time spent with them.

We would love to always be with them but it is important for children to learn and know their heritage , know where they come from and learn to cope with different surroundings. It’s vital that they experience a diverse view of the world . It will not be easy letting go but ,”No man is an island.”

Tonight I toss and turn , tomorrow when we talk on the phone she will have a story for me. Story of how different things are where she is, what excited her , what she didn’t like  , what she didn’t understand and I will rest easier knowing she is OK and at least grasping something different from her norm.

It takes a village to raise a child, no matter where we are in life ,the fundamental/core values will always be traced back to where we come from and who better to help instill those values than the ones who instilled them in us?

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

AND I WILL TRY TO FIX YOU

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I was in a rut recently , in urgent need of help, had exhausted all quick fix options so decided to go through my phonebook.

Scrolling ……

There are those contacts that are just for ‘Hi ‘ and ‘bye’ not really situation fixers ……so pass.

There are those who are never in a position to help but always seek your help whenever they need it again …pass.

Those that ‘have it all figured out’ but cannot act on seconds notice, always doing well but always ‘not currently available’ … mmm pass.

Then there is that one you can call and sure as the sky is blue will drop everything and find solutions with you, but contacting them doesn’t come easy. The sort of people you reach out to when it’s def con 5 or something…..so do you reach them when all you need is a nudge and not moving planets?

After going through my contact list twice and realizing no one will solve my emergency for me but me, I remembered it  was once said , ‘Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part’ , but can we really anticipate all posible outcomes?

Only you can save you. The occasional help is well needed but in the end what needs to be done should and will be done and no one else will do it for you but you. It may sound too black and white….well maybe it is.

Don’t wait on someone else to fix your leaking roof or hide your nude. Do what you can and live to fight another day. My situation may have kicked me in the gut but it did not pin me down. Seek to find answers and with each small win take time to pat yourself on the shoulder.

No one will understand the struggle more clearly or appreciate the little triumphs more than you.

We all face challenges on a daily basis focus on dealing with yours everyone else has theirs …..

Ps. Keep your circle small. Rather one reliable source than a hundred on lookers. It’s better to smile alone than among fraudsters posing as friends.

IStandWithBabyMwaniki

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Give and it shall come back to you 10 fold

Dear all,

We the family of Baby Mwaniki would like to request you to help us raise funds to pay for Mwaniki’s Medical bill… Baby Adriel Mwaniki is 11/2 years.. he was born prematurely and developed Hyrdocephalus a month after his birth. He has been using a VP shunt to help control the impact of hydrocephalus. For one year the shunt has been working well and with the help of occupational therapy thrice per week he was able to achieve some of his milestones. In january 2016 his shunt malfunctioned and he  has been in one hospital after the other having it replaced.. two malfunctioned and now he is on his third… For the last one and a half months he has been admitted in Getrudes Children Hospital and has had four surgeries done. We have been in and out of different hospitals and the medical team attending to him in Getrudes managed to get to the root cause of his problem. His recovery has had its ups n downs. At the moment Baby Mwaniki is on Life support Machine.. He has been on it for the last two weeks… please help us raise funds to help baby mwaniki get the help he needs..the bill is 4 million kenya shillings.

To pay enter paybill No: 891300 then acc no: 6613..
Your Contribution https://www.gofundme.com/u3z8p9kswill be greatly appreciated.

MY MUKIRI

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God gave me you for the ups and downs

I carry you in my heart
Carry you every where
With every stride and every challenge
Your presence encourages me

I’m glad you chose me
Glad you came to me
Through you I have learnt to love
And love with every fibre of me

Now I can’t imagine a universe we don’t meet
A time I’m not yours and you’re not mine
Cursed be the day we depart from each other
Blessed be the eternity we spend

Mama loves you, adores you and would give up everything to see you smile and live free for all of time.