Tag Archives: inspiration

EYE ON THE PRIZE 

Don’t be fooled my dear, no two stories will be absolutely alike. Your journey may be similar to someone else’s but never will they be completely the same. 

Let no one take your joy or your triumph on the basis of what they have achieved or accomplished. Their experiences are theirs you can learn from them or choose to emulate them either way don’t look down  on yourself for the far you have come.

Material possessions aren’t the only measure of success, neither is family, success is what you as an individual strive to achieve. Could be quitting addiction, changing careers, starting a family, getting out of an abusive relationship etc. Whatever you deem success to be to you…..keep your eyes on the prize!!

No matter what, your best competitor is whom  you were yesterday, strive to be better. 

WHEN THE DOUBT IN YOU IS GREATER THAN THE FAITH IN YOU

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It’s 11.15 pm. We just got off a very uncomfortable four hour bus ride, and we still have a 300km drive to look forward to. Naturally, I am exhausted  and hungry. All that I want is food and the embrace of my bed, but we are in the middle of nowhere so neither is an option. We get to the car and like he always does, he goes round it to inspect the tyres, returns with a grim look on his face to announce that the front tyres are almost flat. Driving late into the night, on a meandering road with barely inflated tyres can be quiet scary. At this point I am more than glad to just park the car at a gas station and fall  asleep, worry about it in the morning, but even that is not a viable option seeing as the place is so deserted we would be sitting ducks.
So we decide to risk it, start the journey hoping to find a petrol station that is open and has a functional pressure pump.

First station, pump is broken, but they direct us to a nearby station, so my hope is not beat.

Second Station, pump is broken, I begin to despair.

Third station, no pump at all. Now I am really losing my cool. ‘This can’t be happening to us. I just cannot deal with this right now. We are probably going to be attacked, raped and killed in no particular order out here’ – when my mind goes on a rampage, scary territory!!  How is he so calm? Does he not see our sadistically painful deaths slowly beckoning us?

Fourth station, they have a pump but they have about 10, 22-wheeler petroleum tankers blocking it, and yes, they are parked for the night, their drivers being the reason we can’t get a room anywhere in this God forsaken town. We drive out the station quietly, but deep inside I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I am too pretty to die like this. This is not how I pictured I would be going out.

Fifth Station, at this point I am not even trying to hope for something.  He rolls up to the pump, gets out of the car and goes to try. I have my eyes closed and my face facing the roof of the car praying to the God of Ann Waiguru to grant us some of that undeserved favour . He returns to the car, it doesn’t work. I can feel tears building up, so I ask him, what the next move is, he says, with all the certainty in his voice, “we keep going”.

Sixth Station. This is not even a station, it looks like a kerosene pump in the middle of nowhere. Only one pump,  one guard and somewhat of a pressure pump at the far end. Instantly, I disregard it, advised him to not bother and just drive off into the unknown. “This just might be it”…a silent, hopeful voice came through. He parked just beside the pump , got out and tested it. True to his words. That was it!!! After 6 attempts, a hopeless co-driver..the proverbial silver lining!

Got our tires fixed, breathed a sigh of relief and drove off more confident than ever. Through out the rest of the way we pointed out all the various ways things could have gone wrong 🙂

When your faith fails, but you have someone unwavering in hope it’s a beautiful thing. We overcame because he didn’t loose hope. I wish I could have his optimism and his desire to keep going.

Well, it’s a year of change and am certainly taking notes and learning how to self improve and be a little more resilient and courageous.

Next time you are on a dark, windy , foreign route…keep the faith it will see you through. It doesn’t matter how impossible it may seem just don’t tap out…..

2016 …STILL ON TRACK

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No one is evil. No one looks in the mirror and sees the bad. That’s what I presume. In my efforts to put my ducks in a row with regards to my plans for 2016, I have more than once found myself staring at the mirror, wondering if I know the image staring back.
This over zealous lady is almost unknown to me. I am not ungrateful. I appreciate the mileage I have gained over the years, but what I see here is just different from the person on my vision board.

Its funny how one day you are picturing your picket fence and manicured lawns, and before you know it, you are staring at it years later; but with a hot up of coffee and unimaginable eye bags. A tired sarcastic person mocking their previous selves.
You didn’t really think that’s all it took to be happy now did you?

Now experience is indeed the best teacher. As I rub down after a long hot shower the image in the mirror is slowly looking familiar. She now knows better. In our attempts to please, we end up miserable. In our efforts of gaining back happiness others get miserable. It is a balancing act that we often find ourselves playing out.

If by chance your happiness and that of the people you love are aligned, then make merry and count yourself blessed that someone is part of your story. If the image looking back smiles effortlessly and is at peace keep pleasing him/her.

My ducks are showing great improvement and tremendous positive change so far. I now understand the power of self appreciation and self recognition. No one is evil no one is unfixable and definitely no one is without the ability to live out the best version of themselves.

Step one SMILE

Step two REMEMBER WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE

Step three REFER TO STEP ONE…

A day at a time

WHAT TO DO TO GET YOUR GROOVE BACK

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The smile that gets me by...

I’ve had writers block for the longest time. Tried scribbling notes on my notebook , see if anything pops up. Tried reading a little more than usual but all I could come up with is a whole lot of nothing. Barely contracting complete sentences and looking for the next distraction…
Then it dawned on me
If the thing/ one that inspires you, makes you happy or just kick starts your mortar is off balance, everything else might be set off too. I’ve smiled less in the past few weeks, well even been less productive .I’m not the type to rely solely on anyone/anything and definitely not the type to act all OK when all I want is a tight hug and warm embrace from the right person. The weight does get to me, but I keep going. The strongest battles are the battles within, though I keep soldering on it is clearly taking its toll on me in one way or another.
Walking outside , one can miss a lot….pass by people with unimaginable heart breaks, unfathomable illnesses ,undeniable anguish dressed in lavish outfits, elegant accessories and brave smiles. We all fight different battles and as long as we do…as long as we don’t crawl up with a bowl of cereal and hot cocoa longer than we should, then the fight shall be won.
Here is my easy guide to face the day ahead:
* Say a little prayer
*Smile
2 steps that have gotten me going this far.
May my writers block terminate
May my inspiration get ignited
May your journey be worth it
May we all find the thing we most desire before we burn out….
If you take time to read this kindly share what inspires you…

Dear Self

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Be kind to yourself in the end the world hardly takes the time to care for itself let alone you.

Be kind to strangers, often times you are the only kind soul they will encounter.

Be kind to those you think least deserve it,they need it most.

And smile….

See the world as it is,not as it should be, Enjoy the journey, no one is here permanently!

SUNSET TO SUNRISE AND SUNSHINE

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#keepholdingon

How do you tell the one you had sworn to be with that you no longer share their view? How do you hold the hands that once were your comfort zone just to share the last goodbye?  How in God’s name do you take back your vows and accept the inevitable?
The face that was once your sunrise and sunset, the beat your heart skipped, that one in a lifetime kind of person, is now your source of grief.
We may learn to accept it as the new normal, learn to live on moments and borrowed gratitude, but am sure life is made of so much more. The kind of love you shared should tell you if it is worth fighting for or if it is a dead horse that just needs to be buried. Are you together because of the very same reasons that brought you together or because of the circumstances that now bind you together? Convenience and security should be among the very last reasons that people stay together.
I think we should go back and ask ourselves if what we once shared is worth holding on for even if time has made it unfamiliar to us now.
I think that for as long as we are together, we should grow and evolve together in order to be able to understand and accommodate each other.
I wish it was possible for us to turn time back and go back to that sweet spot when the grass was green and the skies were clear. When the reasons for holding on, weren’t countered by a million reasons why we should let go. When all you wanted was to make popcorn and cuddle over a movie you both hate.
It takes more strength to admit to ourselves that we have failed than it does to just weather the storm and pray a silver lining will be kind enough. It takes faith and trust that the one is still the one, and we don’t need to travel back into time as what was still is.
As long as you still share a bed, you still bear the title, and as long as the title is yours, the decision is also yours of whether you wear it proudly and happily, or sadly and miserably….
IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO BRING IT BACK, IT’S NEVER TOO LATE